Are women and girls important?

In honor of the rape victims around the world, especially two young women in India, I would like to introduce my first guest blog from a colleague, a friend—Dr. Addie Ellis. She is a very energetic, charm, encouraged and compassionate individual.  Her passion is making differences for those around her especially the children, the youth and the unseen. Here is the condensed of her biography.

Dr. Addie L. Ellis

Personal Growth Coach

EdD, Drexel University

MS, National University

BA, UC Riverside

Dr. Ellis is a Personal Growth Coach specializing in assisting women in accessing and achieving their goals. With over 15 years as a personal growth coach, counselor, and educator, Dr. Ellis has guided small business leaders, executives, non-profit developers, mid-level managers, and educators. Her workshops include: “Moving from Surviving to Thriving,” “Discovering Your Passion,” “Purpose, Passion, Power,” “My Sister’s Keeper,” “Unheard and Unseen: Educating the New Face of Homelessness,” “Identifying Behaviors that Maximize Outcomes.”

In addition to coaching and speaking engagements, Dr. Ellis is a consultant, and she is also a professor at St. Mary’s College of California where she teaches the Psychology of Gender and Systems Collaboration and Consultation.

A long-time advocate for children and youth, Dr. Ellis serves as Secretary of the Board for Capitol Collegiate Academy, a charter school operated on the firm belief that all students, regardless of race and socioeconomic status are entitled to a high quality education. She is also a regular volunteer at Mustard Seed School: An emergency school for children experiencing homelessness.

Dr. Ellis completed her Doctor of Education in Educational Leadership and Management with a policy concentration from Drexel University, December 2012. She holds credentials in Life and Executive Coaching, Pupil Personnel Services, and Administration.

Dr. Ellis is the proud mother of her sailor, Naseer Najee. She lives and coaches by the quote, “It is never too late to be what you might have been.”

Are women and girls important?

On January 3, 2013, a young Indian woman died in Singapore from the wounds inflicted by a brutal rape the occurred in New Delhi, India.  Her crime was to be a woman, on a bus, with men.  In the United States tongues were clicked… “Isn’t it a shame what women have to go through in those countries?”  “They have no respect for women!”  “Something must be done…in those countries.”  As tongues clicked and fingers wagged about the brutality women face in other countries, on August 11, 2012 a 16 year old young girl was brutally raped, videoed, and photographed by several male assailants in Steubenville, Ohio, USA.   On the video recording the young men laughed at their ability to repeatedly victimize this young woman.  What links these cases; young girls whose only crime was their gender. 

Women and girls are brutalized world-wide based on the social construct of gender.  Within many cultures women and girls are viewed as being the “weaker sex.”  As the “weaker sex” some believe they are in need of the protection of men.  Women and girls who act outside of cultural norms; those who are not fully covered, who advocate for themselves and others, who seek male dominated positions or education,  are viewed as “deserving of victimization.”  Malala Yousufzai and Kainat Ahmad are prime examples of gender expectations leading to victimization.  These two young women were shot by the Pakistani Taliban for attempting to go to school.  World-wide women and girls are more likely to:  not attend school, be victimized by a male, and live in poverty (www.unesco.org, 2012). 

Are women and girls in need of the protection of men or the protection from men?  In western culture young age girls are taught to be demure; yet alluring, intelligent; yet conniving.  This dichotomy is played out in every Disney cartoon.   The message given to young girls is “your strength and value rests with the male.”  The message given to young boys is “you control the destiny of the girl.”  Neither message is beneficial.  These messages continue into adolescents where young women and young men are bombarded with images of women as objects to be used by men.  These images can be seen in popular music videos, commercials, and sitcoms.  Shockingly these images can also be viewed on morning “news” shows where the young woman sits prettily with a low cut top and short skirt next to her fully clothed, older male co-host.   The messages do harm to both girls and boys as it perpetuates the myth that “boys will be boys” and girls are without control or value. 

In the Steubenville, Ohio, USA rape case some of the boys stated “she wanted it.” “She slept around.” “She was a s___.”  In the New Delhi, India case some remarked, “Why was she out so late?”  “She should have been home.”  “She was a loose woman.”  Fortunately these comments were in the minority; however, they still occur.  If we are ever to move beyond the victimization and second class treatment of women and girls we must start with teaching our boys that girls matter for who they are, not for what they can do for the male.  At the same time, we must teach our girls that they are valuable and deserving for whom they are, not for what they can do for the male.  When we as a society are able to teach our children that each gender is valuable and important, then we will be on our way to making the world safe for all.